How to Tell Your Child They Were Adopted
When do you decide to tell your child that they were adopted?
There are so many people that struggle with this issue and it’s understandable.
We’ve put a list of questions together from other adoptive moms of the following questions…
- How to tell your child they were adopted?
- When to tell your child they were adopted?
- How old should your child be when you tell them they were adopted?
This is something that is between you and your child. Not everyone will have the same opinion.
With that said, we hope to help you in learning what other people have personally done in these situations and hope to help give you more peace of mind.
I think if you start early it will be just a fact that is part of their life, not a secret or a mystery.
Therefore if you are struggling with when to tell them here are some helpful responses from other parents who’ve adopted…
Tell them as soon as possible because if you keep it a secret they will be very hurt. This comes from a mom who was adopted as well as adopted herself.
📚Adoption books can help a lot! Find some great ones here!
Here are some more favorites:
- On The Night You Were Born
- Rosie’s Family
- A Family For Choco
- Mr. Rogers Talks about Adoption
- I wished for You
Keep in mind
If you wait to tell them someone else can bring it up during a fight with a sibling or a family member or friend. You don’t want your child to find out from anyone else but you.
An adoptive mom said, “It’s better to have the news brought to your child in a conversation, not in an announcement. Also, if you have a hard time with this you could think about reaching out to a counselor to help.”
It may be helpful to even see that counselor first. Therefore, you could go over what you’d like to say and what information you’d like your child to know prior to the session.
During fostering classes our instructor said that once the adoption is finalized it’s very important to tell the kids right away. Even if they’re too young to understand.
The reason they want this is that it will start to familiarize the kiddos with the terminology and it’s also helpful to tell them in a soft manner.
“Tell me about the day I was born” is a question all little kids ask.
Remember it’s okay to say “I don’t know” there will be questions you may not have the answers for but telling them the truth is important.
What to say
What to say in conversation with your adopted child…
Let your son or daughter know that they came from someone else’s tummy but have been in your heart forever! ❤️
Remind your child (or kiddos) that they have a unique story. Think about it this way most of us have the same story of being born in the hospital and going home.
Their story just happens to be more unique. It’s important for them to be proud of their story and who they are.
I heard an idea once that you could put a book together with your child. When they help you glue or draw the pictures in the album you could share with them their story.
Just remember to not fear the truth but be careful to not overload them.
Another idea to share with your son or daughter during the conversation about their adoption is the story about other children that have been through the same thing.
For example, you could show them books or tell them about other children’s stories of adoption.
This will help them to understand that they’re not the only one that has been adopted.
For more helpful resources check out the following…
Thank you for taking the time to check out this post! We hope that you were able to find some helpful information.
Remember you are not alone! Thank you for opening your heart and your home for a child in need. I wish you all the best!