Do you believe God has you go through things in life so you can share the light of your experiences with others?
I do. That is why I bring you this Foster to Adopt Tips & Advice post. Because wholeheartedly I think some of the most stressful events in life can help shed light on situations for others.
Foster to Adopt Tips & Advice
First, let me share a little bit about myself if you are new here. I am a mom and foster mom. My husband and I are currently going through the foster to adopt process.
However, you can read as many books, talk to as many people, and take as many classes as you want. But until you’re living the experience first hand.
It’s really quite different.
From a foster mom’s heart to heart reality. It is hard to adopt through the foster system.
At least from our perspective thus far.
Even though all three couples we knew adopted their first placements. It is just not the same reality for everyone.
Foster Care is truly about the reunification process.
Parents or family members are still involved in these children’s lives.
Some fight and some don’t. I’ve seen all sorts of different situations.
For example, we have had four placements thus far and each case has been different from the other.
Whether you’re dealing with a family that has a drug issue, neglect, abuse, homelessness, or a disability.
Each situation is different. And even though they think they give you all the tools you need to prepare yourself.
Experience is the real reality.
Foster Care is about Reunification
The harsh reality is that expanding your family through the foster to adopt process does not mean that you will get to adopt.
Believe me, ever since I was a little girl I wanted to adopt too. Have you heard that saying…
“Adopting one child will not change the world but for that one child the world will change.” – Anonymous
It’s true we have the best intentions to adopt a child and give them a good and loving home.
But up until this point, it isn’t working out in our favor through the foster to adopt process.
We are currently coming up on our two-year mark of being foster parents.
Which is a humble experience in itself!
However, people who are struggling to have babies or would like to expand their family through adoption.
The foster to adopt program is not always the easiest or most ideal.
Don’t get me wrong I am not trying to steer you away from being a foster parent. Because by all means, these children need GOOD and loving homes.
Also, people who will protect them, stand up for them, and fight for them.
I just want to give you a truthful perspective. The process is a roller coaster of emotions.
For example, each week you may have to take your foster son or foster daughter for visits at a visitation center for a supervised visit with an unpleasant mother or father.
As a matter of fact, currently, we have had our fourth placement since he was 6 weeks old. He is almost a year now and is legally blind. Precious little guy!
Unfortunately, he is having a hard time eating solid foods and will only eat three different kinds of baby food.
Due to that, he poops 90% of the time. I am taking him to the doctors tomorrow for an additional appointment about it.
But unfortunately, he has a diaper rash from pooping so much. Instead of his bio mom thanking us for taking care of her son.
From waking up still twice a night, taking him to appointments, to doing everything we can to help him. She complains… and is so ungrateful.
It’s those little things that get overwhelming sometimes.
Because believe me we have all of his best interests at heart.
In addition, what you are picturing from the foster to adopt process will usually be the opposite of what you want.
Don’t get me wrong I love seeing families come back together and these kids getting to be raised with parents that truly care.
However, it is hard when you see the complete opposite. When you lose faith in the system.
But beyond that, I don’t regret starting this process at all and seeing the other side of things. I love getting to know these children. It has not only changed my life, my husband’s life, our biological children’s lives but kids who are in the system as well.
Fostering is truly God’s work!
Lastly, if you want to start the foster to adoption process PLEASE DO!
Yes, you will have your challenges but remember they need you.
Perhaps you start this process for the intent to adopt but become a foster child’s superhero instead.
God will walk alongside you and if you ever want to reach out. I’m here to listen because believe me… I know it’s not easy! I hope this Foster to Adopt Tips & Advice post was at least a little helpful. 🙂
Good luck, hugs and I wish you all the best.
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